So the ants won't get in

I currently have a  resistance to growing up,  I don't want my babies to grow up.  Because right now in my daughter's little world of sunshine & strawberry shortcake, her biggest fear is ants.  Ants that crawl around and may be pesky, but pose no threat to anyone's well being.

In fact, when she asked me the other night while getting ready for bed where daddy went I responded, "to clean up outside and lock the doors for the night".  

Her response...

"So the Ants won't get in?"  

Yes sweet baby girl, so the ants won't get in.  

Oh the innocence of a pure, untainted heart.

This heart that I want to protect and keep from any hurt, fear, heartache, loss, and sadness that may come her way.

But we all know that's unrealistic and one day we will sit together at the end of a long day and we will sort through all the emotions that this world has thrown her way.  Because one day we will face circumstances bigger than ants.  

One of my biggest prayers for myself as a mommy is to be one that teaches my babies to guard their hearts.  Because as Proverbs 4:23 tells us, "It is the wellspring of life."  We live, act, dream, and love from our hearts and when there are things lurking there that shouldn't be, we let them dictate our choices.  

Choices that we regret.  Choices that harm us.  Choices that shame us.  Choices that are ungodly.  Choices that stop us dead in our tracks because we don't even know how and when we made them. 

I know I can't prevent my children from making some bad choices, but one thing I can do is actively and daily encourage them to examine their hearts and sort through and even face the emotions that have set up camp there.

I really don't dread growing older, because as one of the best quotes I've heard states, "It is a privilege denied to many." But with growing older, I know not only will I continue to have to sort through the matters of my own heart, but teach my children how to do the same.

The only confidence I have in this is the fact that I serve a Savior that is the ultimate heart healer, redeemer, and comforter.  And that is the Truth I can offer my babies.  No matter what penetrates their hearts, may they always let the One who knew them before they were born heal, redeem. and comfort.

Someday I won't be able to lock the door and keep out the fear, hurt, sadness and loss, but I vow to be a mommy that sits with, cries with, prays with, and loves on my babies as they sort through whatever this life hands them.

But for now....

I will gladly lock the door for my baby so those pesky ants won't get in.

You revive me

Silence. It's rare and uncommon in my little world.  Sleep is a precious gift these days and I dwell in every second of it.  Naptime doesn't always happen like I plan and whining and crying sometimes makes it's appearance in my home more often than I wish.  And there are just simply some rough. rough. rough days.  But in the midst of it all, a wave of that sweet silence comes my way and I am reminded of something so deep down in my very soul....

He revives me.  

My Jesus revives me.  My faithful Savior who never leaves me or forsakes me, accepts all my faults and failures, and quenches my tired, thirsty soul.

My soul that is weary.  My soul that sometimes feels like a failure as a mommy and wife.   And sadly, my soul that sometimes doesn't even desire to know Him more. 

Even still, He revives me.

Driving through town after bedtime, Starbucks in hand, Christy Nockels blaring through my speakers, I experience some incredible worship time with my Savior.  Of course, I am on my way to the grocery store and I just had to hurry at Target because they were closing, but still, it's just me and Him in my minivan.  The lyrics from "You revive me" so beautifully describe how the Lord meets us in our desperation and reminds us of His promises.  

The promise that His well never runs dry.  The promise that He calls us friend and He is for us.  The promise that He will give us eyes to see Him in the dark, but most importantly......

The reminder that -We have seen His goodness....like, already seen it SO many times before.

Yes, we face trials, bad days, horrible circumstances, devastating loss, BUT as followers of Christ, we know He is faithful to comfort, redeem, restore, and revive us in these times of desperation.  

Thank you Jesus that you meet me in any and every circumstance.  Sometimes even at 10 o'clock at night after a long, crazy day.  Life in you is truly good and you are always, always faithful.  I choose to dwell on your goodness and all you have already done in my life.  And when I need it most, let you revive my tired, thirsty soul. 

Chasing Wind

In this life we will find  

We will be yearning 

In this life we will find 

The world won’t satisfy 

               In this life we will find               

That we will be empty  

Without you.....

So many things have been on my heart and mind lately but it's been hard for me to compile them into a post that would even make sense.  AND if the fact that the hubs and I are having to share a charger for our laptops hasn't been crazy enough, the one charger we are down to has decided to be temperamental and only charge our computers when it feels like it! So my computer activity has been limited lately, hopefully going to be catching up on some blogging!.....

Carrying on...

Summer has been such a wonderful time for our family and I am trying to soak up EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  It is coming and going so quickly and I can't believe it is halfway over already.

These summer days have contained fun playdates with friends, special family outings, swimming, front porch rocking, ice cream, walks with the family, swinging on daddy's homemade swing,  and running through the sprinklers.  I have so enjoyed every second of watching my sweet 2 year old delight in the most simple things of her little world.  Sweet Kate: may you always find such joy and happiness in the simple things.

Summer has also brought it's share of extremely hot weather with little to no rain.  Like, my grass is brown and crunchy due to the lack of rain and extreme heat.  But in the midst of this drought, we actually received a forecast that called for rain recently.  As our hopes for this rain grew, it was quickly squandered with the craziest and quickest wind gust I have ever experienced in my life.  As in, our 2 year old suggested we get in the closet (poor child has experienced way too much bad weather in her short little life) and our neighbors trampoline ended up on the front porch of the house across the street bad wind.  And with the coming and going of this wind (and even destruction),  I was reminded of what the Lord had already been stirring in my heart...

The book of Ecclesiastes contains so many incredible truths and life lessons, I think it is one of the deepest books I have studied.  Solomon at the end of his life is reflecting back on his own life and the things he came to learn and realize.  Not only was he the wisest man in all the world that gave earthly wisdom and advice to many, but through his writings he leaves a legacy of wisdom that goes beyond earthy matters and effects the eternal.

The first time I really studied and thought about Solomon and what he had to say was on a road trip with my hubby. I was reading a book and he had his earphones in listening to music when he told me to listen to a song.  It was a Shane & Shane (LOVE them) song titled "Over the Sun" and when I listened to it I heard  "saw a man, wisest one" and then I said who is the man they are referring to when the song was over and he said "Solomon" ....get it "saw a man" = "solomon" ahahaha....true blonde moment. He just shook his head like he does so often in our marriage ;)...come to find out the song is based on Ecclesiastes and all Solomon had to say regarding this life. Looking in to the scriptures he says (2:17) "I came to hate life because everything done under the sun is so troubling. Everything is meaningless"  He pretty much meant that even though he had everything he could ever want- wealth, knowledge, respect and admiration from everyone, it meant nothing in the end.  I think my favorite quote from this book is found in (2:3) "I tried to experience the only happiness most people find during their brief life in the world".  Most importantly he found that going after these things, (here's the clincher) v 17.... "is meaningless- LIKE CHASING WIND."


Chasing wind...have you ever done it? We would probably look like fools if we were all out there chasing wind, but the closest thing I can picture is my baby girl chasing bubbles.  Like wind, bubbles only are there for a few seconds.  You blow them, you run after them, and then they are gone forever.  How appropriate to think of our life this way.  We are born, we live our lives, and then we are gone from this world.  Our lives are even referred to as "a vapor"  and the more I think about it the more I realize what really matters while we have this short time on earth.

My prayer for my girls (and myself) is that we spend this life focused on what will make a difference eternally.  A relationship with our Savior first and foremost, but love for others, investing in others and seeking after the things that are right, pure, and true.  Society is constantly telling us what is "right' and it is scary.  Having "stuff' is also SOOOOO important in our culture and many feel like it defines them.  I'm not saying you can't have nice things, but when attaining these things in life is your drive and obsession, the emptiness that is never fulfilled by such will always remain.  And we have such a beautifully descriptive picture from a man who chased after these things and realized the emptiness these things left.  The funny thing is, after briefly studying Ecclesiastes for myself, it wasn't until I was in a small group with some ladies that someone else brought up the whole "chasing wind" phrase from the text and how the Lord was using it in her life.  Totally had read it and never fully realized the incredible implications this simple phrase brings.

Jesus Christ came to give us life and life to the fullest.  Not only an eternal life, but an earthly life full of joy, promise, and fulfillment.  But these things only truly come when we turn this earthy life over to Him.  Life is not promised to be perfect and as Christians we fail, many times.  But the satisfaction and forgiveness we find in our Savior is beyond what the world will ever be able to comprehend apart from Him.  May we always point the world to the forgiveness and the Love of a Savior that truly satisfies.  May we not be another soul that spent their life chasing wind.

This day Baby...

As dawn breaks on this new day and another restless night is behind us,  I can only remind myself my babies won't need me in the middle of the night forever.  Since our Ellie girl arrived, our sweet Kate has decided she doesn't need a full night's rest anymore.  Baby sister is actually sleeping longer intervals than big sister.  And as much as I know the "correct" thing to do (put her back in bed and leave her) the sweet little voice that comes into our room and begs "mommy/daddy come lay with me" wins, every time.  Because I know for a fact, one day I will be longing to be right back in a twin bed snuggled with my girl.

It was only after we brought Ellie home from the hospital that I really began to realize just how fast time had come and gone since Kate was born.  I couldn't even make it through our bedtime lullabies without crying my eyes out that night with Kate.  I kept thinking, Didn't I just bring YOU home?!   And now you are such a big girl, FULL of life and love and independence. Oh, the independence.

See that's the thing with life, it comes and goes before we really realize it.  And if I've realized one thing from having my babies it's, I don't want to look back on my life and ask myself, "WHERE DID THE YEARS GO?!?!?"  Unfortunately for many of us, life becomes a blur as we race through it way too fast. Always looking towards what life has for us next.

Can we just stop and cherish today?

My hope for them, and actually for myself too, is that we all learn how to cherish the day.

The day that may be long and even repetitive.  The day that is full of adventure and fun.  The day that is even trying.  Whatever the day holds, may it be one that we hold on to and choose to revel in.  Because the next days and years are upon us far too quickly.

"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children

When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary,

When you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life,

Nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out...

Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value...

The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Someday Baby...

Between lullabies and laundry, nursing and naptime, playdates and parties, the most important hours of my life exist.  Hours that come and go so quickly, I find myself begging the clock to tick just a little bit slower.

Because one day I know I will be longing for my babies to be babies again...

As time marches on and my girls grow older, my hopes and dreams for them are forming.  This new journey, "Someday Baby..." is a way for me to lay out these hopes and dreams.  I'm simply a momma striving to teach them what this life is all about, while living it and learning it myself.  With an incredible man to walk this journey with, I pray our love for each other, our Savior, and each of our girls is what always points them to the Truth and the Love that will never fail them.

Number 4 on my favorite childhood lullaby album, "Someday Baby" has become a staple in our bedtime routine.  Although I think she is slowly starting to realize this momma can't carry a tune, it still melts my heart when she request "the butterfly song".  When we get to the chorus, my sweet Kate closes her eyes and sings out, "Someday you will know, that you can be anything".  And that is what inspired this blog.  With their whole lives ahead of them,  I pray my girls grow up learning and believing they can truly do and be anything they set their hearts & minds on.

But for now, we'll cherish and hold on to this day.

Because Someday will be here in the blink of an eye.